Quit Your Wine-ing

Personally, I am not much of a wine drinker…then again I wasn’t aware of all the wine options that are available to me. First we have what is essentially a wine juice box:

Next, a glass that holds an entire fucking bottle of wine:

Finally, “Mommy’s Time Out” wine (because children drive women to drink):

I kind of think the wine juice boxes are a cool idea, perfect for a trip to the beach or if you are too lazy to open up a bottle of wine and, you know, pour into a glass – such effort! On the opposite end of the convenience spectrum is the glass that holds an entire bottle of wine. Here’s the thing, if you need to drink an entire bottle of wine in one sitting, there is no point in trying to class things up because you are already a falling down drunk. Embrace this persona and just drink straight from the bottle, preferably with a brown bag over top of the bottle to really add to the “I’m a wino” look. And then there is the mommy wine. I don’t really want to offend my numerous parental readers…so I will just say that if I ever found myself saddled with some snotty, puking, popping monster I would be using something a lot stronger than wine to get myself through the day. And now no one is offended, with the possible exception of winos.

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