Happy Pie Day!

Beloved by math nerds and regular nerds alike, today is Pi (π) Day. Traditionally, this most hallowed of days is celebrated by eating the baked dessert known as pie, as pictured below. And now a Simpsons quote!

Apu: “I can recite Pi to forty-thousand places. The last digit is 1.”

Homer: “Mmm, pie”

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Tea Bag

It is a rarity , but I am lost for words on this one:

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Seat Savers

What is the world coming to? We apparently need to buy plastic “Seat Savers” to ensure our seat isn’t stolen by someone else:

I can remember a time when I would just pour a half drank coffee all over a seat to make sure it was saved, but now we have this newfangled technology instead. Well fuck you makers of the seat savers, I will continue to save my seat in the most destructive and gross way possible and there is nothing you can do about it.

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Screamingly Good

It’s The Gnome’s birthday tomorrow. If anyone is thinking of buying me a present, look no further:

It’s really quite perfect. I like ice, I like art, and I LOVE screaming (particularly at That Guy). Buy this for me or else!

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Challenge Accepted

I’ve always wanted to eat a baby, add to that the delicious taste of pho and I am there!

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Red, Red Apple

This is called a Redlove Era apple:

The redness of this apple goes all the way to the core. Most likely some smart alecky commenter is going to say something about how “evil goes all the way to the Gnome’s core” or whatever. Well I’m going to preemptively counter that comment by saying shut the hell up! Yeah, that’s right, I went there.

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Quit Your Wine-ing

Personally, I am not much of a wine drinker…then again I wasn’t aware of all the wine options that are available to me. First we have what is essentially a wine juice box:

Next, a glass that holds an entire fucking bottle of wine:

Finally, “Mommy’s Time Out” wine (because children drive women to drink):

I kind of think the wine juice boxes are a cool idea, perfect for a trip to the beach or if you are too lazy to open up a bottle of wine and, you know, pour into a glass – such effort! On the opposite end of the convenience spectrum is the glass that holds an entire bottle of wine. Here’s the thing, if you need to drink an entire bottle of wine in one sitting, there is no point in trying to class things up because you are already a falling down drunk. Embrace this persona and just drink straight from the bottle, preferably with a brown bag over top of the bottle to really add to the “I’m a wino” look. And then there is the mommy wine. I don’t really want to offend my numerous parental readers…so I will just say that if I ever found myself saddled with some snotty, puking, popping monster I would be using something a lot stronger than wine to get myself through the day. And now no one is offended, with the possible exception of winos.

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